A Family or a Fallacy?
by SilentPatronus
Summary: Will Jonny walk away? Will Jac ever be understood? No one is prepared for the familiar face that is about to return but could this disaster actually prove to be what Jonny needs or will Jac's world come crashing down? One Shot


**So this is a little oneshot I thought of. I guess this is how I want the story to unravel. Unlikely I know but this is my take based on the spoilers we have but adapting it all a little.**

"So incompetent yet again." The voice of Jac Naylor, consultant cardiothoracic surgeon at Holby City Hospital bellowed. She stalked out of the lift and down the main corridor of Darwin to a point where she became in view of the nurses' station. What was perceived to be a very normal comment from such a woman looked wrong in outlook. It hadn't quite sunk into anyone's mind that Jac Naylor - Ice Queen to give her other title – was now a mother to a baby, Emma. Now, for the first time, Jac Naylor was opening up her mothering duties to the rest of her world, including her world of work.

A frown etched upon her face, her eyes tired from the sleepless nights. Now, with a baby in her arms Jac did look the part, even Mo had to admit it as she watched on from the nurses' station. Jac's attitude failed to change at work and Mo would be lying if she'd thought from the start Jac could do this. Anyone from her world of work would describe Naylor as many things, maternal was not one of them. But despite her icy exterior and strong façade Mo knew differently, she'd known someone who was able to break several layers of that down: Jonny. Jonny, the father of that baby girl that was lying silently in the hands of her mother, the one who had been known to tame her for a while, the one who was grieving from the death of his fiancé.

If Mo was being honest then she'd admit she never liked Bonnie. Not only had she felt replaced but also Jonny had enough on his plate before she'd arrived. Jac, although damaged and extremely temperamental, was a much better choice. She'd learnt to deal with her, and at least she wasn't sickly sweet. Although Bonnie was probably better in nature for Jonny she was almost too good to be true. One thing Jac had over Bonnie was Emma, not that it mattered anymore.

It had been almost three weeks since Bonnie's death and Jonny had refused to back down. He was adamant that he would take custody of Emma. But as Jac continued to walk towards the nurses' station Mo couldn't help but feel even more strongly than before that Jonny was in the wrong here. At first she thought it was him grieving, that he'd come around when he realised, but Jonny had passed the blaming Jac stage. Granted he was still furious at her, but he was mainly furious at himself for letting her win, for letting her treat him with such little respect for so long. Anyone could understand that fury. There was something about Jac, her past haunted her and she couldn't let go of it. It was like her past is her future, that the two were interlinked and she couldn't escape it, she'd never had that closure she wanted, not really.

"What?" Jac questioned Mo suspiciously as she caught her gaze. She'd felt Mo's eyes pounding on her since the second she came into view. It took Mo several seconds to escape her thoughts and to remind herself that this was reality, this was the situation, and yes there was a baby on Darwin. No less than 6 months ago it was Jac who categorically refused to have babies on the ward and now it was her own flesh and blood that started bawling. Before Mo could reply, Jac's attentions turned to the baby in her arms, "calm down, calm down. We can't have you screaming now. It just won't do."

There was something different to Jac's tone. There was no malice or vulgarity to her tone it was… tranquil. There was a vulnerability to Jac as there was with any mother with a baby in her arms, and Jac Naylor, Ice Queen, struggled to shrug that off.

"This might be a stupid question but what is Emma doing on the ward? Does Jonny know?" Mo questioned her.

"The cretin of a nanny phoned in with the plague. Well that was her very informative description. Knowing full well I have a full theatre list she never fails to let me down like every other person on this planet." By the end Jac was raising her voice, but remembering that Emma was in her arms she quietened down again! "And big puffy bear is still on his shift so he can't take her from me, so Emma is stuck here for another half an hour or so."

"Let me guess, Sacha?"

"Wow, got it in one. Aren't you as sharp as a tack?"

Mo knew better than to respond to Jac who was clearly not in the mood and instead diverted her attention to cooing at Emma, which acquired a distasteful glance from Jac. Despite this, Jac didn't whisk her away but instead let Mo entertain her daughter, really it was anything to prevent her from making a scene which was exactly what would happen if Emma started to cry. If one thing came out of the next ten minutes on Darwin it was that having babies on the ward only proved a distraction. Naylor was right when she'd said this all those months ago, but she usually was.

Jonny had been back on the job now for two weeks. He'd put his head down and only two things came into his life: Emma and work. His relationship with Mo had faltered as he refused to continue their Tuesday night pints and any attempt of Mo's to cheer him up got shoved aside as he accused her of trying to remove Bonnie's image from his mind. His work hadn't slipped but he had, although no one could doubt his job as a father despite his persistence in pursuing court to demand custody. This was another thing that had weakened relations with Mo, she'd made no attempt at hiding how she truly felt about it all and that wasn't alright with him. Even more so than before he felt truly alone. If he didn't have Emma he had no one so to him all his focus was on keeping her safe and this was the only way for him at the moment.

Darwin had been pretty quiet that day so it wasn't surprising that it took Jonny those ten minutes of Mo cooing over Emma while Jac filed some paperwork to appear on the ward. Upon appearing his whereabouts wasn't questioned and neither did he give a reason. He was too focused on the situation in front of him to really think of it as an issue.

"What's Emma doing on my ward?" He asked Jac rather furiously, as he grabbed Emma from Mo's arms and began to sway her to calm her down showing his contrasting emotions. He didn't even look up for Jac's response because once Emma was within his gaze he couldn't turn his eyes. She was beautiful; the spitting image of Jac although he wouldn't admit that, not to Jac's face.

"Nanny called in sick." Jac said matter-of-factly as she continued filing her paperwork, also not looking up. Mo could sense the tension and observed quietly. She didn't trust leaving them alone together; well that's what she told herself. What the real issue was for her was that she wanted the full picture. She wanted to understand the situation more than she did currently.

"So you didn't think to call me? Or phone someone else? Sacha? Rosie? John even?" He questioned her with a slight annoyance. He wanted to know why she'd brought Emma into work. The day she was born she had categorically told him that Emma was her private life and her work was work. They were never to mix. This was mainly to stop him talking about Emma at work and to draw attention to the situation, but it included visits to the ward.

"I have work to do Jonny not that either you or Mo would understand the meaning of the word. Anyway Sacha's meant to be taking over when his shift finishes in twenty minutes or so." Jac glanced casually at the clock in front as she calculated the time. She saw Jonny tense when she brought up the lack of work he did knowing full well that recently it was all he'd been doing.

Before Jonny could get a word in edgeways Jac's pager went off. "See, work. I've got an important procedure, I'm sure you'll manage for twenty minutes." Jac completed her filing rather quickly before planting a kiss on her daughter's head and walking off in the direction of Darwin theatres. This left Jonny flabbergasted over the situation. To him this demonstrated a sheer lack of incompetence, bringing his new baby daughter onto a ward where there were sick patients. It wasn't safe for babies and Jac knew it. He would make sure that his lawyers would hear about this.

As if reading his mind Mo spoke up about it all. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Jonny looked at her confused, not really grasping what she was insinuating.

"Emma." Mo nodded towards Emma rather sympathetically. She really did feel sorry for her. It was understandable the war that was essentially evolving between Jac and Jonny but to bring Emma into it was deeply unfair. While Jonny had started it off Jac had made no attempt at withdrawing the situation and in fact played him at his own game, neither thought of Emma's best interest.

"I know what I'm doing, we've been through this, end of discussion."

Mo looked on, helpless. Trapped between standing by her friend in an attempt not to worsen the situation and thinking of Emma's best interests. She'd tried over and over to persuade to Jonny that this wasn't the way forward and while Jonny accepted now that Jac wasn't responsible, and that she had proved at times to be an effective mother there was a new issue. Jonny was scared. He'd lost his family; he'd lost his fiancé. He only had three other people he cared for, Mo, Emma, and he'd never admit it but Jac. Mo was able to look after herself, and at this moment in time he had no wish to prioritise Jac. This left Emma. His own flesh and blood, the only kind he had left since his great Aunt and his Granny passed away. He'd protect her with his life given the opportunity and that was partly the problem. While in theory he was granted equal custody, Jac could easily make it impossible for him to see her, she could cut him off without a moment's notice, but he couldn't do the same to her. He had no power other than the birth certificate.

Several times he nearly pulled away from the appeal, he almost told his lawyers to stop. He hated attempting to bring Jac down, to make her seem incapable, but every time he saw that truck hit Bonnie in his head the determination to keep Emma grew. He could never be that helpless again. He's a medic for God's sake; he's meant to save lives.

After going through it all in his head again, as Emma lay still in his arms sleeping away, he turned to Mo. "You think I'm making a huge mistake don't you?" He knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from his best friend. He trusted her. She wouldn't lie to him, not over something like this.

"Jonny, do you remember when you told me that story, a couple of days after we met, about your parents. About their car crash. One minute they were there and the next they weren't. How your Granny brought you up?"

Jonny nodded. "What's this got-"

He was cut off by Mo. "Let me finish." She silenced him. "Do you remember what it felt like to lose your parents?"

"I think about it every day. That pain – it never goes away. It's going to be the same with Bonnie isn't it?"

Mo sensing that Jonny was missing the point continued, but attempted to tread carefully as she tried her best not to rub salt into his wounds. "You had no control over that Jonny. You have control over this. Emma has the chance to grow up with both of her parents around. It's not going to be easy. With you and Naylor it never is, but is it really in her best interest to only have a father, no matter what you think of Jac, she's her Mum. She deserves to keep that right."

"I don't want to lose her."

Whilst he was referring directly to Emma, Mo had a feeling that he was also referencing to Jac. "You won't." She whispered softly to him as she stroked Emma's cheek, and then his. "Despite everything, where is she now? In your arms."

Jonny felt a surge of emotion. It happened often in the past three weeks. His pain of Bonnie's death had resurfaced old emotions, and had made him more emotional at times in the past he'd usually be able to hold in. "You know what?" He began. "Things could have been different if Jac and I were still together. This. It wouldn't have had to happen." He was referring to the pain of Bonnie, for his internal struggle with Emma amongst other things.

"But it's because you aren't together that Emma is here right now." Mo clarified. She was right. It all would have been different if they'd still been together and Emma, who was in his arms, may never, probably would, never have existed. When had it all been complicated? This was a question he'd often wonder and come to the same conclusion every time. It had been complicated from the start, that was one thing that had never changed and probably never will.

Jonny didn't respond to this, there was an unspoken, mutual end to the conversation. Nothing more needed to be said. Jonny had to raise more questions over his motives behind the case but his decision remained unchanged. This was something he just needed to do.

Almost on cue, Sacha came prancing onto the ward bearing a huge grin. He was here to lighten up the mood as well as to take Emma off Jonny's hands who was meant to be working.

"How's my little cupcake?" He asked Jonny referring to Emma.

"Brilliant as always," Jonny smiled back.

"Well I promised Jac that I'd go and inform her when I arrived. I assume she's in her office?"

Jonny shook his head, "ran off into theatre."

Sacha nodded. "Well I'll be two ticks."

Between them they all knew that two ticks really meant twenty minutes or so depending on many factors. Whilst Jonny loved being around his daughter, he really needed to focus on his work while being on ward. Emma at work was a constant reminder of the past months and everything that had happened, and he was concerned for her welfare being around patients that weren't well. She could catch all kinds of diseases.

A woman, who'd sneaked onto the ward a few minutes ago unbeknown to Jonny and Mo who were trying to silence Emma. "How does Jac even manage it?" Jonny asked bemused.

"Beats me. She's got a set of lungs on her that one. Definitely your daughter."

"Har har funny," Jonny gave her a disapproving face.

The woman who'd been wandering round the ward spoke up, "try whistling, it always worked for me." She smiled.

Jonny and Mo looked up at the woman wondering where on earth she'd come from but even still he began whistling 'Perfect Day' by Lou Reed. Sure enough Emma settled down and fell fast asleep within seconds. It was a miracle worker. Jonny had wondered why he'd not thought of this before.

"Thank-you."

"Any time. She's beautiful."

"Thank-you, but that's down to her mother."

"What's her name?"

"Emma."

"It's a nice name."

"Do you want to hold her?" Jonny asked her as Mo pretended to get back to work.

"Oh no, I shouldn't." The woman became a bit hesitant.

"Go on, she doesn't bite."The woman nodded and Jonny passed Emma over into the woman's arms. The voice of Jac Naylor could be heard from a mile away. Sacha had clearly found a way to drag her out of theatre, this caused all three to raise their heads as they wanted to be certain that it was Naylor they were hearing.

"Levy, once again you demonstrate why I should never leave my daughter in your care."

The laughs of Sacha could be heard along with their feet trudging along the Darwin corridor, not yet in view. All of a sudden the feet stopped moving and Jac was in sight. She paused for a second before taking it all in. Upon grasping the situation she literally legged it over from one side of the ward to another. Screaming.

"Get away from my daughter." She snatched Emma from the woman's arms. Sacha was still in view completely stunned at the situation while Mo and Jonny were confused over Jac's paranoia. Jonny mentally made a note to question Jac's psychiatric measures.

"I think it might be best that you leave." Sacha said calmly to the woman.

"I needed to see her." But the woman wasn't looking at Jac, she was looking at Emma. "I needed to see if it was true, and it is. I'm a Grandmother."

Jonny's and Mo's jaw dropped as the words fell from her mouth. Mo had heard all the rumours and despite parts of it being hazy she had a general grasp. Jonny on the other hand had refused to listen to gossip. Jac had never spoken of her mother before, assuming that's who she was. In fact, Jac had never mentioned her family before.

"You're nothing of the sort Jac replied. You lost that right the minute you left me the first time."

There was an awkward silence in the air before Jonny interrupted. "I'm sorry, what's going on? You told me your mother was dead."

Jac ignored his question. She thrusted Emma towards Sacha, "you, take Emma home now. You," she pointed to Jonny, "how dare you hand my child over to strangers, and her of all people."

"She's my baby too. I have rights you know. Just because you're incapable of emotions and the 'touchy-feely crap' does not mean everyone else has to follow suit." Jonny was raising his voice now.

Before the situation got out of control, Mo somehow managed to drag the three of them: Jac's mother, Jac and Jonny, into Jac's office, shutting them inside and forcing them to talk. Sacha had removed his presence from the ward once Jac had reassured him that all was fine and that Emma just needed to go home. Jac had tried to get rid of her mother immediately but Mo had persuaded her to put the past to bed but those weren't the words she used. Once the three of them were alone in the office, as Elliot had taken over Jac's procedure.

Paula offered her hand to Jonny, "Paula, Jac's mother." Jonny hesitantly shook it, and there was a slight ironic laugh from Jac, which Jonny ignored or didn't notice.

"Jonny, Jac's…. colleague."

Before anymore could be said between the pair Jac cut to the chase and Jonny realised this was where he was meant to just listen. "Why are you here?" Jac asked her mother.

"To see Emma, that is her name right?"

"Don't give me that crap." Jac started to raise her voice. "I asked you a question why are you here?"

"Like I said to see my grandchild."

"Who told you about her?" Jac's face was emotionless but that was far from how she was feeling.

"I'm your mother, it's my duty to know these things."

"So you're going to see my daughter and leave? Is that how it's going to be?" Paula didn't say anything. "Of course it is," Jac laughed. "It's how it's always been. When it comes to me you just can't stick around can you? It's happened twice before, it will not happen again. You are not going near my daughter."

"I'm sorry." Paula said quietly, but her face said differently. She seemed indifferent. She was a puzzle.

"Sorry for what? Sorry for abandoning me at 12? Sorry for lying to me? Sorry for taking my kidney and running off again? Please clarify what you're sorry for exactly."

Paula remained silent, but Jonny didn't. "You donated your kidney? You told me it was failing you."

"What did you expect me to say? My Mother deceived me into impending torture? It was better this way."

Addressing Paula this time, Jonny was trying to get his head round the situation. "So let me get this straight. You came to Holby searching for Jac just to take her kidney, you got what you wanted and left?" Again Paula remained silent. "And now you want to see our daughter? You sicken me. Get out now." Jonny shouted at the woman.

Paula picked up her bag from the floor and shoved it over her sholder. Before leaving she poised, and turned her head back to Jac. "Jackie."

"Don't call me that."

"Your Grandad's dead."

"What?" Jac asked her.

Paula turned round again suggesting that her leave was not imminent. "Two weeks ago, heart attack. It was his time." With that she turned and left, for now. No one knew when or if she'd come back. Overcome with emotion tears fell from Jac's cheeks. She'd not spoken to her Granddad since that day four years ago but he'd made an attempt to reconcile with her, he was genuine unlike her mother but Jac had refused. She'd wanted nothing to do with any of them. She wanted anything that reminded her of her mother out of her life and now he was dead. Jonny's natural reaction was to give her a hug, it destroyed him to see how much pain Jac was in. It destroyed him to see that she was as damaged as he'd been told. That it had all been true. It destroyed him that he was going to take away the only family Jac had ever really had.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you've believed me? It's not really believable is it? That's the worst thing about it. It's so bad that no one would believe it could ever happen."

"But she's gone now."

"That's what I said last time…"

"Jac," Jonny pulled her away from his grasp forcing her to look him in the eyes. "She's gone." "Jac you're nothing like her."

"Really? Is that why you want to take Emma away from me? She's the only thing I've got and you want to take her."

"No."

"No?" She questioned him.

"I can't. Not anymore. Jac you can't let her get to you and don't deny that she does because every time you refuse to feel, every time you pulled away from me and every time you refused to say anything it was as a result of her. You let her get to you and she wins."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it Jac? It's a defence mechanism. Every time someone gets close you put up your barriers because you're scared of getting hurt. But is it everyone else you're scared of or is it yourself?"

"Get out." Jac said. She knew he was right. She knew he'd cracked him. He'd seen her at her weakest, he knew everything now. She didn't like this. Not one bit.

"Walking away? What will that accomplish? You're a good mum Jac. Go home. I'll page the on call consultant."

"I'm fine Jonny."

"That's what you tell yourself but we both know that's not true. Right now Emma needs her mum. Go home to our daughter."

"Jonny…"

"Jac, we need to give our daughter everything we didn't have. She needs her parents. We need to make an effort to spend time together. If today has taught me one thing it's that everyone needs their family." Jac looked up at him hesitantly. "Go on, I'll be over later, I just need to make a few calls to my lawyer." He smiled at her.

_Sometimes, it isn't clear what's right, whether you're facing past memories, or recent ones. The past can be painful, ask Jac or Jonny, but life goes on but it doesn't last forever. When there is a child in your care you have to be selfless, think for the good of the child. Things only work out when there's acceptance, understanding and love. Jac and Jonny are there with the first two, but the third will take it's time, although nothing can deny their undying love for their daughter: Emma._


End file.
